I decided that I was going to review every song to make it to No. 1 in the UK charts. I managed to review about four. Instead, I’ve organised the songs into a list and will review the ones I liked and disliked the most. Here’s one of the ones I particularly disliked:
You know who I don’t care about: Cheryl Cole. And this is easily one of the worst things she’s ever done*.
Firstly we already have a song where a female singer shouts “I don’t care!” over a synth beat: it was called “I Love It” by Icona Pop and Charli XCX and it was released only two years ago. This makes Cheryl’s song at worst a complete rip-off and at best surplus-to-requirement. Plagiarized or pointless: take your pick.
Secondly, the song just doesn’t work. If you’ve been inflamed by something so much that you had to dedicate an entire song to shouting about it, you’ve failed to show that you don’t care about it. “I Love It” negates this problem by having two singers shout “I don’t care, I love it!” at each other; no-one else comes into the equation, they do only care for themselves. Cheryl meanwhile is on her own, shouting directly at the audience, using the f-word at us just to make sure we’re really paying attention. She sure cares a lot about letting us know she doesn’t care.
This basically makes the song into the audio equivalent of that person who posts about how terrible their life is on Facebook only to say “it doesn’t matter” when anyone asks her what’s wrong: it’s passive-aggressive, insincere, weak, lazy, unimaginative, unbelievable and just crap. I don’t care for it at all.
* And she’s been done for assault.
TheWrittenTevs 
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